


Hate's An Aphrodisiac

by LyricalKris



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Romance/Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-07
Updated: 2012-08-07
Packaged: 2017-11-11 15:46:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/480175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalKris/pseuds/LyricalKris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward and Bella have to work together to get back Alice's wedding dress after a mix up takes place and realize just how strong of a passion hate truly is. It's a thin line between love and hate, and for these two, that line is called lust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hate's An Aphrodisiac

**Author's Note:**

> New A/N: I'm reposting this from an old account because of reasons. It remains on the TwiHardVixens account - I just don't have control over that account, and I wanted to keep this here. Enjoy!
> 
> A/N: Hello and welcome to the first - of what we hope to be many - collaboration between LyricalKris, CellaCullen & Dizzygrl28! We orignially wrote this with the intention of entering it into a contest, but the contest was abandoned. Frankly, while we're sad we didn't get to see how this piece would fair up against other entries, we're happy to be able to post it earlier than we had anticipated.
> 
> Super Super Super thanks to the betas MCSC2008 & Mrsalreyami - without whom this would've been a mess. They beta'd this thing in less than 24hrs to meet the contest deadline. We are undeniably indebted to them both for their prompt and precise corrections, and the wonderful insight they provided. Thank you.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Title: Hate's an Aphrodisiac
> 
> Pennames: CellaCullen, Dizzygrl28, LyricalKris
> 
> Main Characters: Bella & Edward
> 
> Summary: When Edward and Bella have to work together to get back Alice's wedding dress after a mix up takes place, they realize just how strong of a passion hate truly is. There is a thin line between love and hate, and for these two that line is called lust.

_**The Back Story** _

* * *

It was the first sunny day in Forks in nearly a month, and young Edward Masen was enjoying every minute of it. His best friends, Carlisle and Jasper, had come over for a play date, and for what felt like the first time in forever, they were not trapped indoors. Carlisle was a couple of years older than the barely four year old boy, while Jasper was a year younger, but despite their age differences, they were inseparable.

It was Carlisle who decided the boys would play football, and Edward was more than excited to have the chance to use the new ball that he had received for his birthday nearly three months before. If it was up to Edward, he would have stayed in that yard playing all day, but it wasn't up to him. Edward's first sunny day in forever was ruined by a single phone call.

He would never remember what he was doing that day as the years passed, but he would certainly remember why his day was interrupted. Elizabeth Masen quickly called Carlisle's and Jasper's mothers to pick them up before hurriedly changing Edward into his best dress clothes, which he hated with a passion. The young boy scratched and complained all the way to their destination, but his words fell on deaf ears.

It was only a few minutes later when he was dragged into the local hospital and toward an elevator. He wanted to push the button that would take them to whatever floor they needed, but his mother did it before he could even ask her which number. His perfect day had been ruined, and he knew that whoever they were going to see was the cause of it. He cried that he was bored and wanted to go home after nearly an hour of sitting in a hard plastic chair with nothing to do.

Eventually, his father's best friend, the Chief of Police, came into the room smiling wider than Edward had ever seen before. He wondered if, maybe, he would get to see the Chief's gun again. The last time Charlie had come to visit him, he let him touch the cold silver revolver and the thought of seeing it again was exhilarating.

He knew such a treat would help turn his day around, but when he opened his mouth to ask, he was immediately hushed by his mother who was asking the man what felt like, to Edward, a million different questions. It was after she asked if they could see the baby that Edward finally realized what was happening.

Edward had known for months that Renee Swan was pregnant; he had felt her stomach when the baby kicked several times over the last couple of months. He had been forced to endure what his mother called a baby shower where lots of different women pinched his cheeks and told him how cute he was. Edward knew that one day the baby would be born, but he hadn't expected for it to be  _today_. His mood was foul as he thought of his friends, and how he had been forced to say goodbye to them early all because of the infant he was about to meet.

The room was quiet when Elizabeth and Edward walked in and got their first look at young Isabella Marie Swan. The newborn was sleeping soundly in the hospital bassinet with a pink fluffy blanket wrapped around her. Elizabeth smiled at the sleeping bundle before turning her back on her son to talk with her best friend. Edward approached the baby slowly but with a determined task in mind. He could see that the sun was still out through the window and hoped that once he looked at the baby they could leave.

Edward took one look at the pink and wrinkly thing that his mother had referred to as precious and narrowed his eyes. The stupid thing wasn't even moving. He had to give up his whole day for this mini girl and she had the nerve to not even be awake when he arrived. Edward's annoyance began to grow as he stared at the silent baby. His hand moved up without any real thought. He didn't even realize his fingers had curled into a fist until he was knocking on the clear plastic and yelling –though he could have sworn he was whispering– for her to wake up.

Edward Masen would remember that day well, it was the first time his mother yelled at him because of Isabella Swan, but it certainly wouldn't be the last. As for the girl who had barely entered the world a few hours before, she would never remember what had happened in that hospital room, but she would also never be able to get rid of the feeling of anger that brewed in her gut every time she saw those bronze locks and piercing green eyes.

The months flew by and soon it was Edward's fifth birthday party. Edward and his friends spent the majority of their time in the backyard bouncing and laughing away in the inflatable bounce house that his parents had rented. Meanwhile, inside Isabella was playing with her stuffed animals and other toys from her diaper bag. Edward had been grateful that the baby was too young to join him and his friends in their activities for the day.

Eventually the boys were called inside for cake time. Edward talked animatedly with Carlisle and Jasper about the cake his mother had ordered especially for him. The three-tiered Spiderman cake was designed to look like a building with the action hero scaling the wall.

"... and it's HUGE!" Edward exclaimed to the other boys while motioning with his arms before coming to a complete standstill at the doorway leading into the dining room.

Edward's cake sat atop of the dining room table which had been covered in a matching tablecloth and plastic dishes, but that was not what had caught his attention. No, what he was staring at was young Isabella Swan, the girl that had been nothing but trouble since the day she was born. The brunette terror was sitting under the table with the dangling tablecloth fisted in her hand.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as he watched the little girl pull downward with all her combined strength and weight. Young Edward raced forward to stop her, but it was too late. The cake smashed to the ground splattering the birthday boy in the face. Renee, who had only stepped out of the room for a moment to retrieve candles for the cake, gasped when she saw the disaster.

She apologized profusly to the Masens while retrieving the young girl from under the table. Edward wasn't mad at Bella's mom though. All of his anger was directed at the yongster in her arms. The infant had the nerve to lean forward in her mother's arms and use her fingers to swipe some of the icing off his cheek and then put it right into her drooling mouth.

The years passed quickly, but the resentment they held for each other was not forgotten.

"Why?" a four year old Bella asked as she followed a now eight year old Edward down the stairs and to the front door of his house.

She was supposed to be spending the weekend with Edward while her parents were out-of-town, but she would have been better off home alone considering how much time she actually got to spend with the boy her mom dubbed her best friend. Bella, as she liked to be called now, argued that Alice from preschool was her best friend, but her mom ignored her argument like she always did.

"Because I don't want you to come," Edward said as he put his shoes on and tried to get the annoying girl to leave him alone.

"Why?" The young girl with the chocolate curls asked for the tenth time that morning.

"BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOU!" Edward yelled out in anger before slamming the front door closed behind him.

It was two years later when nearly the exact same words were said, but this time by Bella to Edward. He had just stolen the first cake she had made with her Easy-Bake oven. Tears filled the young girl's eyes as she yelled at the ten-year-old boy and then went running to her mother.

A few years came and went, and soon, instead of the unwanted play dates together, Bella was pawned off on the older boy so their parents could enjoy nights alone. Bella screamed out in protest as the boy she had come to loathe more than anyone else in the world took a seat next to her on her couch and stole the television remote out of her hand. The, now, nine-year-old girl had been watching the newest Sailor Moon episode and had planned to discuss it with Alice the next day at school. Unfortunately, her parents were going out for the evening and had invited Edward over to babysit.

"I'm older. I get the TV," Edward reasoned as he changed the channel to some boring history show.

"It's my house!" Bella screamed before jumping on top of Edward, trying to pull the controller out of his hand.

Time continued to advance, and before long Bella was fourteen and looking forward to entering high school. She had been planning to arrive in style with her best friend Alice and avoid Edward as much as possible. The one thing that Bella and Edward had both liked about each other was that, because of their age difference, they would only be in the same school for a year before he would go off to college, and that was only because Bella's parents petitioned her private Kindergarten to allow her to enter at four years old so she could go through school with Alice. Bella ran down the stairs that morning beaming and nearly bouncing out of her shoes.

"Mom, I'm ready! Can we go get Alice now?" Bella's smile dropped as soon as the question was out of her mouth because in the next second she saw, none other than, Edward Masen himself sitting at her kitchen table.

"Bella, Edward has kindly offered to take you girls to school today. Isn't that sweet?"

It was an hour later as they got out of the car in the high school parking lot that Bella finally voiced how she felt about Edward's offer.

"Sweet, my ass! What are you up to, Masen!?"

"Chill out, short fry. My mom bribed me and I needed the cash. Now, get lost before people think I actually hang out with you."

They did hang out though – against their will – but they still hung out. Edward just couldn't say no to his mother when she asked him for favors or offered monetary compensation for enduring time with the girl who, much to his annoyance, was actually turning out to be fairly attractive.

It was just before the beginning of the next school year when Edward was asked to take Bella and Alice with him to the mall so they could get some school clothes while he purchased a few items he still needed for his dorm room.

Edward had left the girls with Jasper while he ran to the bathroom, and when he returned he saw Jasper and Alice in a dark corner away from prying eyes stealing kisses from one another. Jasper had begun dating Alice over the past year, so it wasn't a shock to see them that way; what was disturbing was what he didn't see - the troublesome now fourteen year old girl that he was supposed to be watching.

Edward's heart dropped as he thought of her getting kidnapped by some sicko. Sure, he hadn't been thrilled about having to take her to the mall, but he didn't want her hurt either. He called out her name and searched frantically. His phone was in his hand and his finger over the speed dial button preparing to call his mother when his eyes finally landed on the back of a head of very familiar, mahogany hair. He breathed out a sigh of relief when he heard the voice that he would recognize anywhere. The relief soon turned to anger as he approached the young teen and saw she was happily laughing and flirting with some older guy while he had been worried about her safety.

"Oh James, you are too cute," Bella giggled as her hand fell onto his chest, and his went to her waist, pulling her nearly flush against his body.

Edward marched forward and grabbed her wrist causing both her and the older guy with the long blond ponytail to turn in his direction.

"Buddy, you need to get your hands..." James' statement was cut short by the glare in Edward's eyes.

"She's fourteen, asshole. Now get lost."

The trip home was filled with silence, and the atmosphere of the car was thick with anger. Bella didn't speak a single word to Edward for the rest of the trip. Her silence was definitely better than the reaction she had nearly two years later, right after junior prom.

Bella had finally gotten together with the captain of the football team and had planned her evening perfectly so that she could finally lose her virginity. Bella told her parents that she was staying at Alice's house, when, in reality, she was going to use her spare key to the Masen house since Edward's parents were out of town and he was away at school.

Unfortunately for Bella, Edward had finished his finals early and arrived home right as she and Tyler were about to get to third base. The door slammed open and Bella scurried to find her clothes as a very angry looking Edward walked into the living room yelling.

"What the hell is going on here?" It was a rhetorical question of course; Edward could see very well what he had walked in on.

It didn't take long for him to not only chase Tyler out of the house but to call Bella's parents, as well. Venom laced her voice as she finally uttered the words that had been building for years.

"You are ruining my life!"

Edward Masen and Bella Swan had been enemies for longer than either could remember, and yet, they were constantly thrown together. So it was no surprise to either of them when their best friends, Alice Brandon and Jasper Whitlock, invited them to dinner to make an announcement that would throw them together for yet another event in their lives.

* * *

**The Dinner**

* * *

Edward had arrived at the diner first and was already seated when Bella showed up just a few minutes later. "Masen," she greeted him, pulling out the chair next to him and angling it as far away as possible.

Seeing what she was doing, Edward couldn't help but smirk. "Swan," he greeted, scooting his chair closer to her with an air of nonchalance.

She glowered at him slightly. "And here I thought your mother was so insistent on teaching you manners. Don't you know you're supposed to pull lady's chair out for her?"

"The keyword here is 'lady'," Edward returned without missing a beat.

"So now you know the difference between girls and boys? I saw your last girlfriend, or should I say boyfriend? Erica my ass; she was more like an Eric," Bella said without taking so much as a second to pause, knowing that Edward would jump in at the first given opportunity.

"Erica was very much a lady, unlike you. If men got paid to sleep with you, the economy wouldn't be in a recession," Edward said with a straight face, putting down the menu he had been pretending to read so he could look her straight in the eyes.

"Oh, my God. Will you two get it over with and fuck each other senseless? It's hard to even walk with all this sexual tension in the room," a familiar voice groused, making their heads both snap up in surprise.

Alice and Jasper were standing by the table, Alice's arms crossed over her chest and an uncharacteristically annoyed expression on her face. Jasper just looked mildly amused. Edward and Bella looked at each other, noticing for the first time that they were leaning very close together. Bella's cheeks flamed red, and Edward ran a nervous hand through his hair. They both sat back and scooted their chairs away from each other discreetly.

Jasper pulled out a chair for the still irritated Alice, and her glare softened the tiniest bit. They both sat down. None of the four friends spoke at first. Alice and Jasper kept throwing each other secretive and flirtatious glances. Jasper smiled and Alice ducked her head, almost shy. Edward and Bella looked on with somewhat sardonic expressions, waiting for their friends to say what they had to say. They seemed to be having a conversation with their eyes, silently debating which of them got to break their news.

Finally, Jasper spoke. "We asked you both to come here because we have some very good news, and we'd like you two, as our best friends, to be the first to know." He had taken Alice's hand and, again, they smiled at each other. "Alice has agreed to marry me."

Edward pounded the table, not surprised in the slightest, but incredibly happy for his best friend. He couldn't adore Alice more if she was his own little sister. "Finally. I've been waiting for this announcement since Alice graduated college two years ago," he said, eyes sparkling.

"That's fantastic," Bella agreed, dutifully pulling Alice's hand toward her to examine her friend's new ring.

Drinks and food were ordered, then Alice looked over at Bella. "Bella, we've been best friends since forever. It just wouldn't be the same if you weren't my maid of honor."

"Of course, Alice; you know I'm here for you," Bella said immediately.

"There's only one problem," Alice continued,"Jasper is going to ask Edward to be the best man."

Edward's eyes shot over to Jasper. Jasper rolled his eyes. "You know it had to be you, jackass. You've been my closest friend since we were both in diapers... and Carlisle's a priest now. That wouldn't work if I want a decent bachelor party at all, would it?"

With a lopsided smirk Edward extended a fist to Jasper who bumped it. "You know you can count on me."

Alice rolled her eyes at the boy -bonding ritual. "Yes, I'm sure he can count on you to provide plenty of tits and ass prior to him shackling on the ball and chain. But, can I count on you, Edward? Bella? I want to keep all the normal traditions. Which means the maid of honor and the best man have a lot to do together. Now, this is the only wedding I intend to have and I want it to be perfect. My idea of perfection does NOT include a fist fight in the middle of my wedding. Are we clear on that?"

Edward and Bella gave their word, and they kept it for the sake of their friends. Whenever Edward would get on her nerves, Bella would press her lips into a tight line, but wouldn't snip at him. Whenever Bella was driving him crazy, Edward just smiled and kicked the crap out of the first available wall he could find out of her or Alice's view. The next few months flew by in no time. Between choosing colors, patterns, and helping the happy couple with a variety of numerous errands, Edward and Bella had very little time to actually end up in an argument with each other. Despite their initial fears of being stuck together, the truth was that they had very little to do with each other while working on the wedding.

Sure, they saw each other at everything from the cake tasting to the clubs where Alice would listen to different bands, but both spent the majority of those events with pen and paper and taking orders from Alice. They actually started to believe that they might not end up killing each other before the event was over. Of course all good things come to an end, and for this dueling duo, the end started exactly seven days before the wedding.

* * *

**One Week 'til the Big Day**

* * *

"We're running out of time! I'll never get everything done by next week!"

Alice was panicking.  _Again._  Bella rubbed her friend's back while trying to calm her down. It was the only thing she could do; with the wedding this close, she knew it wouldn't be long before Alice had a meltdown. "This is what we're going to do," Bella said decisively, firmly. "I am going to go pick up the dress and drop off the check for the caterer. You are going to take a long, hot, bubbly, salt bath..."

Alice looked at her incredulously.

" ... while you listen to your top five song choices and  _finally_  make a decision as to which you want as the first dance," Bella amended quickly. It was best for Alice to be doing something even while she relaxed. "I mean it, Alice. I need to know you won't explode out of anxiety while I'm off running errands. Strip. Bath. Now."

"Whoa," Jasper said, stepping in the doorway slowly. "I don't know whether to be jealous or really, really horny."

Bella gave Jasper a mock glare and then looked back at Alice. "See, there you go. Even better. Have some athletic sex to get all this excess energy out of your system..."

Alice, again, looked at her incredulously.

"...  _while_  you listen to your top five song choices and finally make a decision as to which you want as the first dance, obviously!"

A few minutes later, Jasper had taken over distracting-Alice duty and Bella was about to back out of the driveway when a familiar silver Volvo caused her to slam on the brakes. Irritated, Bella rolled down her window. "Masen, what the hell!"

"Come on, Swan," Edward called out his own window, smiling incorrigibly. "It's Saturday, and I  _know_  you don't have a date. Why are you in such a hurry to leave?"

"Ha, I suppose that's what you're doing here, right? Getting ready for your big date?" Bella quipped back. "Well, whatever it is... shoo fly. The happy couple are otherwise occupied, and I need to get to the dress shop." She waved him off, dismissively.

Edward quirked an eyebrow at her, but she wasn't looking. He shut off the car and leaned back in the seat, relaxing.

"Are you kidding me with this?" Bella called from her car, irritated now. "Masen! I really need to go! Move your damn car!"

Deciding he wanted to toy with her, he locked his hands behind his head and gave her a cocky grin. "And what if I don't want to?"

Bella narrowed her eyes. If he wanted to play with fire, he'd get fire. Her truck was ancient but it could also make scrap metal of his precious Volvo. She threw the truck into reverse.

"Whoa, whoa! What are you doing? Are you crazy!?" Edward shouted from his car.

"Get out of the way or I will get you out of the way," she warned, hitting the brake just inches from his Volvo.

"Jesus, Swan. You can't take a joke at all can you? Fine, if you're going to be insane about it, I'll move."

"Thank you," Bella called, all sweetness once he was out of her way. He just scowled. Bella laughed as she drove away.

Across town, another bride-to-be was busy making the final preparations for her own high profile wedding. Rosalie Hale had returned from the bridal shop where she had just picked up her dress and hung the beautiful custom white silk wedding gown in her bedroom closet, pushing her other clothing to the side so it hung unobstructed. She smiled as she looked at the garment bag which contained the dress.

She'd spent several thousand dollars and numerous hours working with the seamstress, Esme, on the design, not to mention the countless fittings where she was cinched and pinched and poked. She still thought Esme poked her on purpose at least a few times and was  _sure_  the woman hated her, but she was the best seamstress around the Olympic Peninsula and Rose only wanted the best for her wedding. Closing the closet door, she walked to the bathroom and drew herself a bath, thinking of how beautiful she was going to look on her wedding day, walking down the aisle with her perfect hair, perfect make-up and in her  _perfect_  dress to marry the  _perfect_  man.

If only Rosalie had known that inside her garment bag was a dress way too petite for her supermodel build. It happened right after Rose finished trying on her dress for the last time at the shop...

Rosalie had gone to Esme's shop three days earlier for her final fitting, expecting all the alterations to be complete and the dress to be ready to take home. Instead, she ended up in a heated argument with the seamstress when the dress wouldn't clasp up all the way.

"Are you kidding me?" Rosalie asked, raising her voice in alarm. "Can't you read your own measurements? It's too damn small!"

"I assure you my measurements are just fine, Miss Hale. You've gained weight." Esme informed her pointedly.

Horrified, Rose spun around, narrowing her eyes and lowering her voice as she spoke, "How dare you! I most definitely have  _not_ gained weight." Rose couldn't believe the audacity of the woman who stood in front of her. She refused to believe that she might have gained weight, despite the fact that she'd been too busy to go to the gym lately or that she drove through Starbucks three times a day.

Esme took a deep breath, trying not to lose her temper. Rosalie Hale had, by far, been the most demanding and unreasonable customer for whom she'd ever designed a dress, but she needed the money, and this sale was a gold mine. "There's no need to get upset; I see it all the time. It's very normal to put on a few wedding pounds. I can fix it."

"You're damn right you'll fix it, and you have two days to do it! This is your fault, not mine. I did  _NOT_  put on a few 'wedding pounds'; you need to double check your measurements!"

Esme took Rosalie's measurements yet again, noting to herself the two inch increase around Rose's waist. She'd been hand-making dresses for twenty years and knew her original measurements were correct, but she double -and triple-measured again- just to appease her client. As soon as Esme had what she needed, Rose shooed her out of the dressing room and quickly changed before storming out of the shop, tossing a warning over her shoulder on her way out. "I'll be back on Wednesday; that's two days. I expect it to be ready."

Esme gathered the dress from the dressing room, where Rose had haphazardly left it lying on the floor, and held it out in front of her. It was Egyptian silk with a beaded torso she'd spent hours hand-sewing. Rose had come in with a rough sketch, but Esme had brought it to life. It truly was her masterpiece, and she wanted to rip it to shreds. Instead she gave a deep sigh and went to work making the alterations, praying that Rose wouldn't gain anymore weight before Wednesday.

Wednesday was the same day that Bella had offered to run Alice's wedding errands. Unfortunately for Bella, Wednesday was also a very stressful day for Esme Platt, and a catastrophic error was going to be made that day that would affect the entire next week of Bella's life.

Esme had two different dresses in identical garment bags hanging on her rack. She knew, very well, which was which. However, Rosalie, when she came in that day, had insisted on trying the dress on again, "To make sure you did it right this time!" Everything had fit perfectly this time – much to Esme's relief, the bride had not gained more weight – and Rosalie had reverently returned the dress to the garment bag. Feeling guilty for being so rude to Esme when the gown was the most gorgeous thing she had ever seen, Rosalie hung the dress back up on the rack so she could do a little last minute shopping. However, when she hung the dress, she hung it on the opposite side of the rack from other garment bag.

Bella came into the shop just as Esme was, unbeknownst to everyone present, retrieving the wrong dress to send Rosalie home once and for all. Bella busied herself looking at a few of the fine hair combs while Esme finished with her client. The blond woman was glamorous and gorgeous but rude as hell, Bella noted.

Rosalie finally breezed out of the shop and Esme rubbed her head tiredly.

"Tough client, huh?" Bella asked sympathetically.

"You have no idea. Fortunately, her purchase is covering my vacation and then some, Esme smiled. "Then again, I only need a vacation so badly because of her!" She chuckled. "It's good to see you, Bella. I was worried Alice wouldn't get her dress on time. I'm about to close up shop."

"Some asshole was blocking my driveway," Bella replied.

Esme retrieved the dress and followed Bella to the door, locking it behind her. "So when are you going on vacation?" Bella asked as they walked to their cars.

"Now," Esme laughed again. She gestured to the luggage in the backseat of her car. "Not a moment too soon. I'm leaving for Seattle and Sea-Tac. My flight leaves tonight."

Bella wished Esme a good trip, and Esme made her promise to come back with pictures of Alice in her dress.

When Bella got back to Alice's place, after dropping off the check for the caterers, she was happy to find Alice in a considerably more relaxed mood. She and Jasper were sitting side by side, quibbling good naturedly over last minute seating arrangements between their two very different families.

Alice jumped up and threw her arms around Bella's neck. "You are the very best maid of honor, ever. I'm sorry I was so crabby earlier."

"Don't worry about it," Bella said, hugging her friend back. "You're just lucky I'm not ever having a wedding so I can't get you back."

"We'll see about that when the time comes," Alice practically sang. They'd been having this argument since they were in high school. Alice had promised to plan Bella's wedding and Bella had promised that if she ever got married, Vegas was good enough for her.

Alice took the garment bag and opened it, eager to see her beautiful gown again. Her grin fell quickly. "Bella! This is not my dress."

"What?!"

Jasper stood, wrapping his arm around Alice's waist quickly. Alice swallowed her initial fury and forced herself to take a deep breath, drawing on Jasper's calming influence. "It's okay," she said, more to herself than anyone. "We'll just… get it sorted out first thing tomorrow. There's still time."

Bella grimaced before she told her everything, from Edward making her late, to the fact that there would be no way of fixing the mishap in the morning. Part of the charm of Esme's shop was that she worked alone, and with her out-o-own, no one would be able to let them into the small bridal store.

It was safe to say that Alice was upset about Esme's vacation. Bella and Jasper watched her turn an alarming shade of red. Bella glanced around, wondering if Alice and Jasper had purchased the requisite fire extinguishers. Alice was definitely close to combustion.

"Baby," Jasper soothed, trying to put his arms around her, "you need to calm down."

Alice turned her livid glare on her soon-to-be husband. "CALM DOWN?!" As she flinched, Bella noted that,for someone so tiny, Alice could be terrifying. "Jasper, if I don't get that dress, I might have to marry you in a t-shirt and jeans. Is that what you want?!"

Jasper had the audacity to look wistful. "Well... actually..." Bella flinched again, knowing that this was not what Alice wanted to hear.

If it were possible, Alice's voice got louder. Bella was fairly positive that she was breaking a few noise pollution laws. "Jasper Adam Whitlock you had better not answer that question or you're not going to make it to your wedding day."

Alice turned on Bella, panicked and livid, telling her she had better figure out how to get the dress back.

Amidst all the commotion of Alice yelling at Bella, there was a knock at the door. Jasper opened it to find Edward standing there with an easy smile. That smile fell when he saw the tense look on Jasper's face. Then he seemed to clue into the fact that Alice was yelling. Normally, Alice yelling at Bella like that might have amused him but not now. Alice was in bridezilla mode. Edward felt it was part of the guy-code that he should not have to deal with a bridezilla.

"Looks like this is a bad time," Edward said as he turned to leave.

Jasper grabbed his best friend by the arm. " Nuh-uh, you stay. You blocked Bella's car?"

Edward grimaced. "That might have been me, but honestly, it could have been any fool with a Volvo."

"Look, Edward. You don't feel about anyone the way I feel about Alice. This is her dream and  _our_ day. I want it to be perfect for her. Now, I don't give a damn what you have to do, but you're going to help Bella get that dress back... and you're going to do it without being a bigger ass than you already are," Jasper all but growled.

"Jesus, Jazz," Edward said, seeing he was serious. "I'll help her." He wasn't even sure what Jasper was talking about, but apparently, it was partially his fault, and he was man enough to own up to that. But fuck, when had Jasper become a groomzilla?!

Alice's rant could still be heard by both Bella and Edward as they closed the front door behind them. It wasn't long till Bella managed to fill Edward in on the fact that the dress in the garment bag she held was not Alice's. After another fifteen minutes of arguing about whose fault it was, the two began trying to figure out how they were going to fix this disaster. Edward was all for breaking into the Bridal shop until Bella pointed out that there was a name tag attached to the bag – R. Hale.

It took a little sleuthing, but Edward and Bella eventually determined that R. Hale was none other than Rosalie Hale, the Victoria Secret Model about whom every single man fantasized, regardless of age. The small town had been buzzing about her upcoming wedding to Emmett McCarty, the NFL star, which coincidentally fell the same day as Alice's. Bella remembered all too well how Alice ranted when Rosalie managed to snap up the best florist in town only hours before her.

The good part about knowing to whom the dress they had belonged was realizing that Ms. Hale would have Alice's dress by default. The bad part was that, even though they knew where Alice's dress was, they didn't have the faintest idea how to get them exchanged.

"No one sees Ms. Hale without an appointment!" The words were said with a deafening finality over the intercom system of the Hale/McCarty home right before a large man who looked like he could break Edward in half appeared out of nowhere, telling them to get lost.

"Well, what the hell are we going to do now?" Edward groaned as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

The pair had found out where Rosalie Hale lived, and Bella was able to easily confirm their suspicions that she had Alice's dress when she saw a picture of her on a catalogue stored in Edward's car. It was hard to forget the blond bitch that had been in Esme's shop at the same time as she. What they weren't able to do was exchange the dresses, though. Apparently, the upcoming wedding had brought forth with it a lot of paparazzi, and so the couple were seeing no one that was not approved by their agents first, and the wait to get approved was over a month long.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm thinking about going into hiding. Otherwise, Alice is going to kill us both."

"To hell with that," Edward said as he motioned for Bella to follow him around to the side of the brick wall surrounding the house.

He glanced around for only a few minutes before finding a low enough tree to climb up and then hoist himself onto the top of the wall. Bella watched on in shock, and whispered frantically to him to get his ass down while continually looking back and forth to make sure no one was coming after them. While normally Bella wouldn't mind seeing Edward in trouble, that security guard had looked pretty intimidating.

"I'm going to exchange the dresses whether they let us in or not," Edward explained while motioning for Bella to toss Rose's bag to him.

She did as he asked, but not before speaking her mind on the matter. He ignored most of what she said, like normal. Edward smirked to himself as he scaled down the inside wall of the Hale residence. He was more than ready to prove Bella wrong after she told him that he wouldn't be able to just sneak in and swap the dresses. Edward's plan was absolutely flawless thanks to his rebellious years back in high school; he knew exactly what he was doing. Unfortunately for Edward, he hadn't planned on the two large German Shepherds and the lone Chihuahua that were waiting on the other side of the gated property.

* * *

**Six Days 'Til the Vows Are Spoken**

* * *

Edward was sore the next morning when he rolled out of bed. Despite his failure, he and Bella agreed that, short of killing someone, they would do whatever it would take to get the dress back, even if it involved breaking a few laws in the process. He winced as he moved to pick up his cell and send a text message to Bella. He had been lucky enough to escape the wrath of the German Shepherds when Emmett McCarty came out of his house and called to the monster dogs; the Chihuahua on the other hand was a different story.

Jake.

Emmett had called the mutt that sank his teeth into Edward's rear end Jake. The tiny dog didn't look frightening at first, but Edward learned not to judge a book by its cover. He was lucky to get the thing off of him long enough to get back over the wall.

_**-What time are we going to try again?** _

He drummed his fingers on his dresser while he waited for Bella's response. It didn't take long for his phone to signal he had a new message, but the reply wasn't what he was expecting.

**-~-You're on your own tonight. Just an idea - if they have big dogs there should be a doggy door, bet you could fit through it.**

Edward ignored the comment about crawling through a doggy door and decided to figure out why the hell she wasn't going with him. This was her fault after all.

_**-What?! What are you going to be doing?** _

**-~-Getting Alice very, very drunk. Maybe drunk enough to elope.**

_**-You being a lesbian explains a lot, but proposing to Alice won't get you out of MOH duty.** _

**-~-Shut up, Masen. I don't want to hear about your fantasies. Text me if you're successful.**

_**\- Wait. What do I do about that beast, Jake?** _

**-~- You mean the cute puppy?**

He scowled as he read the words; that monster that took a bite out of him was anything but cute. He didn't get to reply though since his phone sprang to life once more, alerting him to yet another message from the bane of his existence.

**-~- Take a steak with you.**

Edward smirked at the text message, but then he frowned. He had forgotten today was Alice's bachelorette party. He debated not going at all tonight, but Jasper's bachelor party was the next day. They really couldn't afford to lose two days.

In the end, it was very simple.

As he was pacing in the woods that surrounded the property, Edward saw Rosalie and Emmett go out for a walk - taking their dogs and their bodyguard with them. He breathed a sigh of relief knowing he wouldn't need the steak before climbing over the wall and going into the house.

Sure enough there was a doggy door, and he crawled through it just like Bella suggested. It took him thirty minutes to get the dress - twenty minutes to locate it and ten extra minutes were spent staring appreciatively at Emmett's collection of trophies. He left through the side door just as Rosalie and Emmett were coming back up the street.

Edward felt smug and self-satisfied as he got in his car. He started to text Bella, but then decided he'd let her ride out the night with Alice snipping at her. Served them both right for being pains in the ass.

* * *

**Four Days 'til They Bring on the Shackles**

* * *

Edward really had intended to rub his victory in Bella's face the morning after he had retrieved the dress, but she wasn't answering her cell phone the next morning. He guessed she had a hangover. He would have told her in person, but as the best man, it was his responsibility to host Jasper's bachelor party. So, a whole twenty-four hours came and went without either of them speaking to the other.

Being as smart as he was, Edward knew when he awoke the next morning, four days before the wedding, that the horrible pounding in his head was the fault of the incredible amount of alcohol he had consumed the previous night. He knew it was the morning after - or the morning of, depending on how you looked at it - Jasper's bachelor party. He knew he was not ready to be awake, but he also knew that he was awake.

What Edward couldn't figure out was what Bella Swan was doing in his living room. How had she gotten in here? Obviously their foray into breaking and entering was getting to her head. He also didn't know what she'd just said to him, though the fact that her lips were moving and there was a very distorted noise coming out of her mouth indicated that she was speaking. Her voice was pleasant, his hung-over brain decided; there was a particular cadence to it that he enjoyed.

That woke him up a little. He was automatically annoyed at her for making his brain think nice thoughts about her without his permission.

"Did you hear me?" Bella asked.

Edward blinked at her again, thinking that the sun was offensively bright today. He wanted to turn it off. He wanted to close his eyes, but there was this Bella-sized problem in the middle of his living room. She was standing there with her hands on her hips, looking down on him with a smug expression. That same smug expression that always made his blood boil for some reason. Why was she in his living room, not letting him sleep off this mother of a hangover?

"What did you say?" he mumbled. His mouth tasted and moved like it was filled with cotton balls. He was fairly certain he wasn't the one that had ended up gagged last night...

"I said," Bella started to speak slowly, as if he was stupid instead of hung over - which amounted to the same thing in some people's books. "I. got. the. dress." Her tone was haughty.

Edward was annoyed. "Really funny, Bella. Jesus Christ, did Alice put you up to this?" He flopped back down on the couch and threw his arm over his eyes.

"You don't believe me?" Bella demanded.

Edward sighed. Why was she persisting with this trick? "You couldn't have gotten the dress because I got the dress the day before yesterday."

There was a pause. "No, you didn't. I got the dress last night," she insisted.

He moved his arm away from his eyes to stare at her. She was looking at him with that furious expression again, the smugness gone. Her chin jutted out.

For a long, tense moment they stared at each other. She was serious. "For the love of all that's HOLY. You've  _got_  to be kidding me, Swan!" He winced as his shouting caused his head to throb painfully.

The realization that Edward had the dress and then Bella swapped it back, put both of them into a foul mood as they made their way back to the Hale residence. They were going to swap the dress, again, but this time together so that there would be no confusion. Bella even double checked that they did, indeed, have Rosalie's dress still by unzipping the bag.

 _It's a shame that Alice doesn't_ _wear the same size since the dress is rather lovely,_  Bella thought to herself as they arrived back at the wall and low hanging tree.

Bella tossed the dress on top of the wall, then they each climbed the red bricks. Edward was forced to catch Bella when she slipped while scaling the inside bricks. He chuckled slightly as she straightened out her dress and jumped up to grab the garment bag.

"So who helped you get the wrong dress last night?"

Bella scowled at his assumptions. "I did it myself."

"Yeah right," Edward snorted, which earned a rather nasty glare from Bella who was now heading towards another tree that seemed to run right up to the window of the master suite.

"Where are you going? The doggy dog is that way," Edward said while trying to pull Bella towards the opposite side of the house.

"I climbed the tree last night. It's easier. Besides, it's dinner time, there might be people in the kitchen."

Edward shook his head and tried to reason with her, but she had been slightly annoyed by his words and was determined to prove to him that she could swap the dress back, again, without his interference. Unlike the night before though, Bella wasn't dressed for climbing trees, so within a matter of moments she found herself in a bad situation when the material of her dress wrapped itself around a nasty looking branch.

"What are you doing?" Edward hissed when he realized Bella hadn't moved for a few minutes.

"I'm stuck!" she growled back.

 _Just great!_  Edward thought to himself, before yelling back for her to stay put while he went to find a ladder.

Edward had been gone for only five minutes when a car pulled into the driveway. Bella said a silent prayer that she wouldn't be seen. Of course her pleas were useless; within seconds after emerging from the car, a man bigger than the security guard had been spotted her. Bella panicked and somehow managed to lose her grip on the tree.

She and the garment bag fell to the ground, but not without consequence. While she landed rather softly, considering how things played out, she lost something in the process - her dress.

Edward had just managed to find a tool shed and a ladder when he heard yelling from the opposite side of the house. Edward raced to get back to Bella but stopped in his tracks when he saw her head disappear back over the wall. His attention was then drawn to the man that was following after her, Emmett McCarty.

Edward's eyes zoomed in on the material clutched in his hands, and it didn't take long for him to figure out roughly what might have happened. Had Bella been caught, he might have felt slightly guilty, but instead, he found the closest area he could to climb back over the wall and then went to look for his partner in crime while laughing to himself the entire time.

It didn't take long to find the newest member of the nudist club. Bella was crouched behind a bush only a few yards over with the garment bag clumsily wrapped around her body. Her appearance brought on another round of laughter.

"This isn't funny, Masen!" she said between clenched teeth.

Edward's grin fell when he heard the strain in her voice. She was looking away from him, at the ground. He knew she was upset, but he hadn't realized to what extent. His heart clenched oddly when he realized she was crying, or at least, desperately trying not to cry.

And then he felt like a complete and total asshole.

With a sigh he started to shrug out of his jacket. He took a step toward her and Bella's head snapped up. "What are you doing?" she asked, stepping backward.

Holding her gaze so she would feel sure that he wasn't trying to ogle her, Edward gestured with the jacket. Bella stilled, letting him step forward into her personal bubble. They were both vaguely surprised that the intimacy of their posture wasn't awkward. He wrapped the jacket around her shoulders and held out one sleeve at a time as she eased into it, keeping the garment bag pulled against her until the last second. Edward pulled the jacket closed, buttoning the top button.

Feeling a strange surge in her heart and tightness in her chest, Bella looked down. When he finished with the row of buttons, Edward did not immediately step away from her. "Hey," he said gently.

She looked up with uncertain eyes, but he was glad he could see no tears. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I shouldn't have laughed at you. You may be a pain in the ass, but you don't deserve to be embarrassed like that."

* * *

**Only Three Days 'Til I Do**

* * *

"Edward, what the  _fuck_ are you doing?"

There was a loud thwack as Edward tried to stand up quickly and his head met the top of the window he was halfway into. "Ow! Fuck!" He backed out of the window and stood up successfully, rubbing his now pounding head. Bella was glaring at him. He glared right back. "What the fuck, Bella?"

Her lips twitched. She was fighting a smile.

And she had called him Edward instead of Masen. Interesting. "I asked you first," she reminded. "Also, you're the one sticking out of my window."

He opened his mouth with some brilliant explanation, but then closed it when he realized he didn't have one. Finally. he rolled his eyes and told her the truth. "I was trying to figure out how you got into my apartment the other day," he admitted sheepishly.

"No, see... where you went wrong was thinking I'm a pervert. I don't go sneaking into girls' bedrooms," she said, gesturing at the window.

Edward looked at the window and then back at Bella several times in horror. "This is your bedroom window... look, Bella, I wasn't trying..."

Seeing Edward flustered was too much; Bella dropped her angry facade as she laughed at his discomfort. He sighed and rolled his eyes again. "I  _knew_ this wasn't your bedroom window."

"You still haven't explained what you're doing here," Bella said between giggles.

 _Her laugh is sexy._  The thought struck Edward out of nowhere, and he realized he was smiling. He cleared his throat and forced the ends of his lips down, disconcerted. "The gossip is that Emmett McCarty and Rosalie Hale's rehearsal is this afternoon. I have a lead that it's being held at the same hall they're getting married at. I came to pick you up."

"I see," Bella said, continuing to stare at him as if she suspected him of foul play.

He let out an exasperated grumble, throwing his hands up. "I swear I was just trying to get you back, okay?"

Bella bit her lip, finding this discombobulated Edward more endearing than she would have thought possible. "I see." She let him stew for a moment before she nodded. "Let's get going then."

She heard Edward let out a small sigh of relief, and he followed after her. They bickered over whose car to take before deciding that the Volvo didn't stand out as much as her truck did. Then they were on the road.

"So are you ever going to tell me?" Edward asked as Bella flipped through his iPod, looking for something good to put on.

"Tell you what?" she asked, distracted. Edward had a fuck-ton of music. It was hard deciding on what she wanted to hear.

"How you got in my apartment." He glanced over to see she was smiling.  _Really sexy._ His brain commented again without his permission.

"I'll tell you... if you sing for me," Bella said.

He narrowed his eyes as a song came on the stereo system. "You must be joking."

She grinned wider, bouncing in her seat slightly. "Oh, come on, Edward. You bring it on yourself. You have Justin Timberlake on your iPod!"

"A couple of the songs are catchy," he mumbled defensively. She stared at him expectantly. He sighed. "You're really going to make me do this?"

"You've already wasted almost a minute," she responded.

Edward stared straight forward, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. He cursed his insatiable curiosity, and with another sigh, he waited for the bridge before he jumped into the song with gusto.

_"Dirty babe. You see these shackles, Baby I'm your slave. I'll let you whip me if I misbehave. It's just that no one makes me feel this way."_

He chanced to look at her only to find her staring at him, mouth agape. "What?" He demanded, taking a hand from the steering wheel and running it nervously through his hair.

Bella cleared her throat, not trusting herself to be able to talk just yet.

Edward's voice was sexy. Dead. Fucking. Sexy. The kind of sexy that stopped you in your tracks and made you gasp. The kind of sexy that did warm, tingly things to your insides and set butterflies aflutter in your stomach.

The kind of sexy that seriously made Bella think she wanted to fuck Edward.

Her mouth closed with an audible snap. "Nothing. Just, funny that's all."

Edward glanced at her, curious. She didn't look like she thought his singing was funny. She was also not looking at him. She busied herself with his iPod, and a fast-paced metal song cut off Justin Timberlake mid-"Sexy back".

He would have pushed the issue, but they had arrived at the church. He passed it and parked down the block, not wanting to draw attention as there were already a number of people milling around. "So?" he said expectantly as they got out of the car. "I fulfilled my part of the deal."

This brought the grin back to Bella's face. "I used the key I got from Jasper," she said with a grin.

He stopped walking. She continued on a few steps before looking back at him.

When she smirked like that Edward found he couldn't even be mad at her. "Well played, Swan," he said as he caught up to her. "Well, played."

The scene around and inside the church was absolute chaos. Edward and Bella adopted looks that said they were absolutely authorized to be there and entered the church.

Jesus," Edward muttered, "I thought Alice's plans were complicated."

"Less gawking and more trying to figure out where you would be in this clusterfuck if you were a dress," Bella said. They were in the kitchen currently. Bella guessed that the kitchen was not where one would put an expensive wedding dress.

They split up, and Bella found herself in a wing just off the main hall. It seemed to be some kind of recording booth set up. There were several instruments and sound equipment all around. Curious, Bella clicked at a couple of buttons and ran her hands over the strings of the guitar.

She had just made her way to the gorgeous grand piano when she heard voices right outside the door. Startled, she whirled around, searching for a place to hide. As she did, Bella accidentally knocked the sheet music right off the piano. She gathered all the pages off the floor and scrambled behind the black curtain that hung over the only window in the room. She shoved herself into the corner only a fraction of a second before the door opened.

"The piano player and the singer will be in this room, see mother?" a voice Bella recognized as belonging to Rosalie Hale intoned. "He'll start singing my favorite song as I walk down the aisle, and the music will be filtered into the hall."

Bella felt slightly ill. How was she going to figure out which song was Rosalie's favorite? She'd knocked over a lot of them.

Rosalie and her mother chatted for a few minutes before moving away, the door snicking quietly behind them. Bella let out a sigh of relief and carefully peeked around the curtain she was behind. The room was empty.

She started to rife through the sheet music when her phone vibrated.

_**-They caught a paparazzi in here. Security is about to descend. I don't think it's here anyway, but we have to GO. Meet in the kitchen.** _

Bella looked guiltily at the music before deciding it would all work out right. She placed the music back on the piano and hightailed it out the door.

A few minutes later a distinguished looking gentleman and woman entered the room. The woman sat at the piano while the man stood behind her, looking at the music over her shoulder. He furrowed his brow. "You're sure she wants this?"

The woman looked over the music and shrugged. "You know how these celebrities are. Strange ones."

The man shrugged and flipped on the microphone, ready to pipe music to the people waiting in the hall below.

Meanwhile, Edward and Bella had found each other again and were about to exit. They narrowly avoided security in the kitchen and had just located a side exit when the overhead music started.

_"Oh! Well imagine. As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor, and I can't help but to hear... No, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words, 'What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!' says a bridesmaid to a waiter, 'and yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore.' "_

"If this is what Rosalie Hale picked for her wedding, her sense of humor gets serious points in my book," Edward laughed. He looked over to find Bella was turning a very deep shade of scarlet.

 _What on earth was she blushing about?_  Edward questioned in his mind.

"Come on," Bella said, walking faster.

Rosalie Hale's shriek could be heard even from outside the church. Edward's head snapped toward the sound, then to Bella who was all but running now. He didn't ask. He figured it was better just to get the hell out of there.

**Two Days Before the Ball and Chain**

"Why does it have to be steaks?" Edward grumbled as he fished the pricey cuts of meat out of the bag. He waggled the meat in front of the dogs and their growls quickly turned to yips of delight. "What about Bacon Beggin strips? Hell, wouldn't they do this for just bacon?"

"First of all," Bella began, dropping to the ground beside the distracted dogs, "Bacon is very little. These steaks are very big. It will take them forever to finish them. Second, they're rich dogs; it's safer to just assume they'd prefer steak to something as common as bacon."

"That's not the point," he groused as they got to the doggy door. However, he couldn't find the words to argue with her - she made sense. Instead he leaned down and pushed the doggy door open. "After you," he said, gesturing with a sarcastic expression.

Bella narrowed her eyes at him. He stared back challengingly and then rolled his eyes, giving her a look that said  _yea, as if I would ogle your ass._  Bella frowned but dropped to her hands and knees and crawled through the door.

Edward had sincerely thought he would not ogle her ass, but when it came right down to it, it was just so... pert. How had he never noticed what an amazing ass she had?

As Bella's ass disappeared into the house with the rest of her, Edward shook his head, trying to rid himself of the exceptionally filthy fantasies in which his mind insisted on engaging him. More than one - all of them really - involving taking Bella doggy style. Edward dropped to his hands and knees, following in after her.

Edward stood inside the kitchen he had been in just a few short days ago, the night he'd successfully retrieved the dress. Then, the kitchen had been pristine. Now, it was something of a mess - at least on the counter. The reason behind the mess was immediately evident. In fact, Bella was staring at with wide eyes.

On the island counter in the middle of the kitchen perched the biggest, most intricate wedding cake Edward had ever set his eyes upon. He whistled lowly. "You know, again," he whispered to Bella, "to my utter and total shock, Alice is getting her ass kicked in the over-done wedding department."

There was a moment of silence as they both stared, taking in the multiple tiers set on intricately carved columns of fondant. "If I ever get married, I'm going to Vegas," Edward mumbled to himself.

Bella only nodded her agreement.

Another moment later, Edward started to head off to search for the dress. An audible gasp and Bella hissing his name made him stop cold. He turned around to find Bella with a panic stricken look on her face, holding up several tiers of cake with both hands. He hurried back to her. "What the fuck did you do?!" he whispered.

"I just wanted to see if those flowers and vines were made of icing," she whispered back frantically. "The column came down. I caught the cake, but it's really heavier than it looks. Edward, you have to help me!"

Looking around, Edward saw where the fondant column had fallen to the side of the cake. He grabbed it and reattached it to the pegs that were sticking out of the cake as fast as he could. Then he took the tiers Bella was holding up, which he had to admit were a lot heavier than they looked, and settled the top tiers back onto the column. They both backed away from the cake slowly, arms out to catch it should it fall again.

It stayed.

They both grinned at each other in triumph. "All right," said Edward, pretending to look at her sternly. "Enough playing around. Let's get this done so we can get the fuck out of here."

As Bella took a step forward, she did not realize she was stepping right onto a patch of icing that had fallen to the floor during their scuffle with the cake. Bella's feet went flying out from under her. Edward reached out for her but ended up getting his feet tangled with hers. Bella's arms shot out, one of them gripping Edward's arm and the other gripping the edge of the cardboard under the huge cake. Bella fell on her back on the floor. Edward fell on top of her, catching most of his weight on his arms. Then, the huge cake tumbled right off of the counter, landing mostly on Edward's back.

There was nothing but silence and stunned expressions in the room as Bella stared up at Edward. His mess of bronze hair was now, well... caked with cake.

"Oh, God," she said. Her hands went to his hair, trying to get out the bits of frosting and cake. "I'm  _so_  sorry."

The sensation was just too much for Edward. Bella was pinned beneath him, her soft body pressing into him. He could feel her breasts against his chest as she breathed. With her hands in his hair he couldn't handle the combined stimuli. In the space of seconds, she was driving him insane.

And not in the normal, angry way.

He grabbed her hand from his hair with his free hand, pressing it to the floor beside her head. With this action she seemed to become aware of where, exactly, she was. Her eyes narrowed and her face flushed. "Let me up," she demanded, placing her free hand against his shoulder and pushing.

She started to wriggle and writhe beneath him, and he had to bite back a curse. He shifted his weight, about to roll off her, but as he did, he pressed into her. Bella made a whimpering noise in the back of her throat. Edward looked down at her, instantly aware that he was driving her as insane as she was driving him.

And not in the normal, angry way.

She looked furious about it, and he couldn't help himself. Instead of rolling off her, he pressed himself into her again, trapping her free hand between them, until they were almost nose to nose. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, Masen?" she seethed, but her voice was more breathy than threatening.

"I'm really quite comfortable," Edward said, smirking. He wasn't about to let on how much she was affecting him. His entire body felt aware of hers beneath him. Her heat. Her softness.

Bella narrowed her eyes to slits. She couldn't deny anymore that she wanted to fuck him... but she was pretty sure it was that really angry type of sex she wanted. There was such a thing as hate sex, wasn't there? The kind where people throw each other against walls? The kind that could only be described as ravishment?

Jesus, she was getting hot just thinking about it, and that was disturbing. She did not want to be turned on by Edward Masen.

She looked into his eyes, about to demand that he get away from her again, but what she saw gave her pause. His eyes and the sure set of his smile were arrogant, but behind the arrogance his eyes were smoldering. It made her mouth run dry and her pulse speed. He wanted her; she was sure of it.

Knowledge gave her power. Her glare turned into a grin and she raised her head. Before he could comprehend what she was doing, she pressed her tongue flat against the skin of his cheek, licking a stray bit of icing away. She heard his sharp intake of breath and smiled victoriously.

They stared at each other for long seconds, the air charged and electric. Not about to let her win this sick game they were playing, Edward leaned down. His lips brushed hers with the faintest of touches before they trailed down to her chin. She had a dollop of frosting there that he scooped up with his tongue before raising his head. He sucked his tongue back into his mouth and smacked his lips as he swallowed the frosting.

The hand he held pressed by her head wrapped around his fingers, and the hand he had pinned between their bodies dug into his skin. His body shifted into hers again, reacting instinctively to the titillating atmosphere and the tantalizing nearness of her. Edward felt like he was going to lose his mind if he couldn't taste her lips soon. He leaned down at the same time that she raised her head.

A door opening and a light coming on in the hallway diffused the tense moment. Edward recoiled away from Bella as if a bucket of ice water had been thrown on him. "Shit," he hissed under his breath as he heard Emmett McCarty's voice in the hallway.

"Yea, babe. I'm checking!"

Edward scrambled to his feet, pulling Bella up with him. He looked around frantically, but there was nowhere to go. Finally, he eased open the pantry. It was a walk-in, of course. They were loaded, but it was still just a pantry, and it didn't look like there was enough room for both of them. Nevertheless, the footsteps in the hallway were too close for anything else. Edward stepped in, shelves pressing painfully into his back. He pulled Bella in with him, and she had no choice but to curl into his chest as he eased the door closed again.

The only way they could have been wrapped more tightly together would be if he was inside her.

Bella shifted and Edward cut off a groan. Of course, parts of her were lined up with parts of him. The tension from moments before already had him worked up. He did not need the friction to help. He tightened his arms around her to still her movements.

The light in the kitchen went on, and he could see her with the light that filtered through the cracks in the door. There was a glint in her eye.

He glared at her.  _You wouldn't dare._  Miss Goody-Two-Shoes would not fuck with him right now when her girl parts were lined up with his boy parts and she was close enough that he was enveloped in her heat and her scent. Miss Never-Been-In-Trouble would not fuck with him when any noise would alert the very buff man whose house they had invaded and whose wedding cake they had just decimated.

 _What. The. Fuck._ Edward thought as Bella leaned in and her lips went to his throat.

"What the fuck!" Emmett McCarty yelled as he came across the dead cake.

Bella hoped that Emmett would find consolation in the fact that the cake was very good. At least, the bits that she was licking off of Edward's neck as he squirmed and desperately tried not to make noise were delicious.

Emmett hadn't noticed Rose walk into the kitchen until he heard the ear piercing scream that came from behind him. Spinning around to face her, he cringed away at the fury in her eyes. He'd never seen her angrier than she was now. Slowly, she stalked toward him, her breathing heavy in her rage. "What. Did. You. Do?!" She spat while poking him in the chest with her long manicured finger. Emmett threw his hands up in surrender. "Baby, it wasn't me! I didn't do it!"

Dropping to her knees in front of the destroyed cake, she scooped some up in her hands, flinging it angrily at Emmett, "My cake! My beautiful cake! You destroyed it! How am I supposed to have another cake made in TWO DAYS?"

Emmett watched helplessly as Rose's shoulders slumped and she began to cry. Kneeling down behind her, he pulled her into his chest. "It wasn't me, baby, I don't know what happened." It was then that the door leading from the kitchen to the backyard creaked open, and one of the German Shepherds, Embry, ran through the kitchen carrying something in his mouth. Emmett stood and followed him, pulling the slobbery raw piece of meat from the dog's mouth and examining it. "What the hell…" Certain that he had locked the door and armed the alarm before going to bed and certain that this piece of meat did  _not_  come from their kitchen – Rose and Emmett only ate filet mignon – he quickly became aware that someone had been in their home.

Rose stood to see what Emmett was holding, when from the corner of her eye she noticed something on the floor. What Bella hadn't realized in the scuffle with Edward and the cake, was that the silver Tiffany's charm bracelet she wore had slipped from her wrist. However, as Rose picked up the piece of jewelry, she thought she recognized it as something she'd seen Emmett's ex-girlfriend Kate Denali wearing. Looking between the bracelet and the steak that hung limply from Emmett's hand, she could feel her blood pressure rise as she put the pieces together in her head. Her wedding was being sabotaged and she knew just who was responsible.

"That  _bitch!_ " She yelled. Whirling on Emmett, once again poking him in the chest with her finger, "This  _is_  your fault!"

"What?" Emmett squeaked like a girl, feeling a little afraid of his future wife. "How is this my fault?"

"Because you're the one who used to date the psycho bitch, that's how!"

"Kate?"

"Yes Kate, you moron! How many psycho bitches have you dated?"

Emmett had to contain a laugh as he looked at his fiancé, her face red in rage, her hair in disarray from the sex they'd been having, and cake dripping from her hands.

"I'm going to take care of this tonight, once and for all. That bitch left something here I think needs to be returned."

Emmett didn't get a chance to argue because Rose was already out of the kitchen and upstairs getting dressed. Within five minutes she was out the door and on her way to set the record straight; Em was hers and she thought it was time Kate got it through her thick, empty skull.

Moments later, Rose came to a screeching halt in front of the club that she knew Kate frequented. She'd barely put the car in park before jumping out of it, slamming her door and tossing her keys to the valet who was standing on the curb. "You scratch it, I kill you," she warned as she stormed past him and through the doors of the club, still seething with rage. Once inside,it didn't take her long to spot Kate, standing at the bar in a skimpy red dress, chatting with three apparently inebriated men.

Rose began pushing her way through the crowd to get to an unaware Kate Denali. "You!" Rose yelled over the crowd, catching Kate's attention. "I know what you're trying to do, and I want you to know it's NOT working! Em's mine!"

Confused, Kate bravely stood up to Rose, unknowing that the words she was about to speak would cost her a trip to the plastic surgeon. "You delusional bitch, I have no idea wha..." Before she could finish, Rose's fist connected with her nose, causing a sickening crunch.

Kate's hands instinctively flew to her face and she stumbled. "My nose! I think you broke my nose!" Pulling her hands back she saw the blood that covered them and screamed, "You crazy bitch!"

Then all hell broke loose. Kate lunged at Rose, causing them both to fall to the floor where the two women began rolling around scratching, kicking and pulling hair. Emmett, who had followed shortly behind Rose to the club, arrived just in time to see a bystander take a stiletto to the groin when he tried to come between the cat fight.

In the end it took Emmett, two bouncers and the bartender to pull them apart.

* * *

**One Day 'Til the March Down the Aisle**

* * *

Edward was irritated. He was irritated that he had spent part of the night in a cramped pantry with shelves pressing into his back and Bella Fucking Swan pressing into his front. Licking his neck.

Turning him the fuck on.

After they'd finally escaped the house, the car ride home was awkward, and the tension in the enclosed space was palpable. It had been all he could do to nod at her suggestion they meet for coffee and a last ditch effort. He'd gotten out of there so fast after dropping her off that he was surprised his tires hadn't squealed. He'd thought about her. All. Night.

Now, he was at the diner waiting for her. He'd burned his tongue on the coffee and he was pissed as hell, thinking about her little antics in the pantry.

Trying to distract himself from his livid thoughts, Edward got up and retrieved one of the newspapers from the end of the counter. What he saw had him intrigued. He forgot all about Bella and the pantry.

For the moment, anyway.

Bella's mind was still going over the previous night as she sat stuck at a red light a block away from the place where Edward was waiting. The evening had been so surreal, the effects he had on her where unlike anything she had ever felt before. They had slept in the same bed a few times before when they were younger, and all she wanted then was to kick his ass for stilling all the covers.

Now though.

Now she wanted to pin him down to the bed, cover him in icing and...

Her thoughts were interrupted by a horn sounding behind her. She had no idea why she was lusting after him so badly. The night before she honestly was beginning to think they wouldn't make it out of the Hale house without ripping each other's clothes off. She felt her skin begin to heat up as she remembered being pressed against him in the closet.

His growled for her to behave emboldened her to do things she never would have done with him before. Not even Rosalie's screams could break the tension of want that had settled around them. Of course once the angry engaged couple fled the house, Edward opened the closet faster than Bella would have thought was humanly possible.

Bella's brow has furrowed as she wondered why he had put so much distance between them, but that confusion was quickly replaced with anger at herself for ending up in such a position with him at all. She was after all the same girl who walked in on Edward with his first girlfriend. At the time she felt pity for the poor girl who actually dared to sleep with him.

Now, she wanted to be the woman who ravished him.

"Let's get the dress and get the fuck out of here," Edward said only moments after they escaped the closet.

"Senor McCarty?" the question caused them both to freeze and stare towards the stairwell down which the voice floated.

They listened for only a moment as footsteps signaled they weren't alone in the house. It seemed stupid now that Bella thought back on it. The couple had a bodyguard, why wouldn't they have a maid, too?

They were lucky to make it out of the house unnoticed. The backyard lights barely turned on right as they were out of reach of their illumination. The fact that they were closer to being caught and arrested than they had ever been before didn't leave either of them feeling very good, but the thought of telling Alice they gave up was even worse.

So, despite everything that happened the night before from their new found lust for one another to the fact that they destroyed what was probably a good thousand dollar or more cake, Bella pulled into a parking spot to meet with Edward and plan out their next attempt to get back the wedding dress.

When Bella arrived at the diner, she did a quick scan to look for Edward, spotting him at a table in the rear, reading a newspaper with a shocked expression on his face.

Joining Edward at his table, she slid in the booth opposite him and clasped her hands together on the table in front of her. "Whatcha reading?"

Without saying a word, Edward slapped the paper onto the table and slid it across to Bella. Picking it up, her eyes immediately focused on the picture of two blond women tangled together on the floor of a bar in an obvious cat fight. Recognizing one of the women as Rosalie, Bella quickly moved on to read the headline and accompanying article:

_**Victoria Secret Model, Rosalie Hale in bar fight with** _ _**Playboy Bunny,** _ _**Kate Denali – Rose to Kate: "Stay away from my man!"** _

_Claiming that Playboy Bunny, Kate Denali, was trying to sabotage her wedding, Rosalie Hale, Victoria's Secret Model and fiancé of Seattle Seahawks Linebacker, Emmett McCarty, arrived at The Eclipse on Thursday night to confront her would be saboteur. Per reports by local patrons of the club, after an exchange of words, the soon to be Mrs. McCarty punched Miss Denali in the face, at which point a fight erupted. It took several men to break up the fight, including Emmett McCarty himself. The police were called out, however no arrests were made. It has been reported that Miss Denali suffered a broken nose but has not pressed any charges at this time. A press conference has been scheduled by Miss Hale's camp for 8:00 p.m. CST._ _Neither party would make comment for this report._

"Holy fuck!" Bella blurted out, her eyes snapping up to meet Edward's. "This is our fault?" She asked, pointing to the headline.

"Looks that way," Edward nodded. "If we thought it was difficult to get to that dress before, its going to be even worse now. If they think someone is trying to sabotage their wedding..."

"Not someone - Kate Denali." Bella interrupted, holding up the newspaper pointing to the headline.

Edward rolled his eyes, "Either way, they're bound to tighten up security. How are we supposed to get to the dress now? We're so fucked."

"Uh-uh, no we're not," Bella said, shaking her head back and forth. "Says here that they're holding a press conference at eight."

"So?"

"Sooo, they won't be home. It's our opportunity."

"Are you fucking crazy?"

"Obviously. Now come on, it's already seven o'clock; we need to get going if we're going to do this." Sliding out of the booth, Bella began to walk away, and Edward had no choice but to follow her. He knew she was determined, and he couldn't let her go alone and give her the satisfaction of being the hero just in case she was successful.

Twenty minutes later they were back at Rose and Emmett's house, sneaking over the familiar brick wall. Edward couldn't believe he let Bella talk him into breaking into the house  _again_. The entire situation was ridiculous, and his conscience was beginning to weigh on him. Here they were ruining another couples wedding all in an effort to make sure their friends had the perfect one. They couldn't take it back, the damage was already done and now they were crouched behind a bush for what Edward hoped would be the final time, peering through a window to make sure nobody was home.

"Okay, I think we're clear," Bella signaled, moving around the house to the backdoor with the built in dog entrance that had been so successful for them twice before. Edward watched as Bella got on her hands and knees to duck through the entrance and caught himself admiring the view she was providing, again. Shaking his head to clear it, he realized they had a problem, "Wait. What about the dogs? We didn't bring any steaks this time."

"Oh come on, with all the cuts of beef we've fed them, we had to have won them over by now. If not, well..." Bella didn't finish her sentence, but instead shrugged and proceeded through the dog door, Edward following her lead.

Once inside, they wasted no time and headed straight for the upstairs bedroom where the dress was being kept. When Bella opened the door she froze unexpectedly, causing Edward to bump into her. "What the hell, Bell..."

"Shhh..." she put her finger over her lips, pointing to Jake the killer Chihuahua who was curled up sleeping in the middle of the bed. Unfortunately it was too late and Jake and popped his head up, looking directly at Bella and Edward. Before Bella was able to shove Edward back and shut the door, Jake was off the bed, yapping and nipping at their feet.

Bella squealed and they both took off running downstairs, Jake hot on their heels. Running back through the kitchen, they headed for the back door, but just before reaching it, one of the German Shepherds appeared through the dog entrance, snarling as soon as he saw the two intruders. "Oh, fuck!" Edward yelled, snatching Bella back by her arm, "This way!" Spinning them both around, he ran for the nearest door he saw, which happened to be the basement, and pulled Bella through it with him, slamming it shut behind them. They listened to the dogs bark and scratch on the other side of the door as they both took a moment to catch their breaths.

"Well, now what?" Bella asked.

"I don't know, genius, didn't have a plan for this one, didja? Let me just think a minute." Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled it heavily and looked at Bella, "I guess we just wait to see if the dogs leave. Might as well make yourself comfortable." He told her and moved to sit on the top step of the stairs that led down to the basement of the house, patting the spot beside him.

An hour passed and Edward and Bella had barely spoken a word. Bella could tell Edward was pissed, and she didn't want to chance saying anything that would make him angrier. The dogs had been quiet for a while, so Edward decided to check to see if the coast was clear. Edward turned the knob to peek through, but it wouldn't turn. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Edward yelled, hitting the door with the palm of his hand. "The door's fucking  _locked!"_

"What? How?" Bella asked, feeling panicked. They couldn't be stuck; there had to be a way out. If they got caught, they'd be thrown in jail for breaking and entering.

"How am I supposed to know?"

"I don't know. What do we do now? We can't go to jail, Edward. I'm a wimp and you're too pretty! They'd kick my ass and buttfuck you in the showers!"

Edward glared at her slack jawed, "Nice, real nice, Swan."

"Well?" Bella shrugged, "It's true."

"You're fucking unbelievable."

" _I'm_  unbelievable?"

"Yes,  _you_! This whole thing was your bright idea to begin with, and now we're locked in the basement, probably facing arrest,  _still_  with no dress by the way, and you're insulting me?" Edward shook his head and threw his hands up, "I'm going to look for a way out."

Edward began walking down the stairs and Bella followed, "I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't mean to insult you. I mean, you  _are_  pretty, and your ass would be appealing I imagine, but I never meant to..." Tripping over the step Bella fell into Edward, causing him to stumble down the stairs as well. Fortunately, they were near the bottom. In an effort to break their fall, Edward grabbed for the nearest thing he could to provide support, but it was no use. Edward had grabbed at a rolling clothes rack, pulling it down with them. They landed in a tangled heap on the floor, Bella on top of Edward. Both looked at each other with matching expressions of surprise at first, then Edward's face turned beet red and contorted in anger. Shoving Bella off him, they both scrambled to their feet, brushing themselves off and checking their bodies for injury.

"Fucking hell, Swan, it's just one big clusterfuck after another with you isn't it?" Edward yelled.

"Sorry," Bella said, rolling her eyes.

"You sure fucking are!" Edward snapped. "And I'm sorry I ever agreed to this fucking mess with you! What the fuck was I thinking?"

"Listen, I said I was sorry, what more do you want?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about you stop being an elitist bitch who thinks she's better than me. If we'd just done things my way to begin with..."

"Your way? Your way? You arrogant bastard! Like your way has worked any better than mine!" Bella yelled back, taking a few steps toward Edward.

"Well at least my way didn't get us trapped in the basement, where we're sitting ducks to be caught, and in case you forgot, I  _did_  get have the dress at one point. _You_ swapped it back!" He said, jabbing his finger into her chest.

Slapping his hand away, she jabbed him back and got in his face, "Just who do you think you are, Edward Masen?!"

"No, who do you think  _you_ are?!" Edward yelled back, moving even closer to Bella until they were literally nose to nose.

"I know who I am, asshole; I'm Bella 'Fucking' Swan!" She spat out.

Before he could think to stop himself, and before she could protest or say anything further, Edward had Bella pinned against the wall, kissing her roughly, his tongue thrust deep into her mouth. Bella wanted to be angry, she wanted to push him away, but her body betrayed her. Her hands reached up of their own free will, grabbing fistfuls of his hair, holding him to her roughly, and returning his kisses in kind - sucking and nipping at his lips. All the frustration of the past few days, all the pent up sexual tension, reached its peak, and they were helpless to stop what was happening between them; not that they wanted to.

"Fuck... Edward," Bella gasped as he began kissing and sucking at her neck, moving down to her chest and over the swells of her breasts which were partially exposed in the low cut top she was wearing.

"Take this fucking shirt off," Edward commanded when he couldn't pull it down any further without ripping it. Pulling his own shirt over his head, he watched as Bella quickly obliged, yanking her top off and fumbling to remove her bra. "Fucking beautiful," was all he said before wasting no time sucking a perfectly pink nipple into his mouth.

Bella moaned as Edward took turns sucking and kissing each of her breasts, occasionally returning to her lips, kissing her deeply each time. Bella thought she would combust when Edward ran his hand down over her ribs and across her stomach before dipping between the waist of her pants and into her thoroughly soaked panties.

"Fuck, oh fuck, Bella..." Edward groaned into her mouth when his fingers came in contact with her slick, bare pussy, running them back and forth between her folds before pushing a single digit inside of her.

"Yes, Edward... more." Bella said, throwing her head back against the wall, and Edward obliged, sliding another finger into her.

"God, Bella, I need to be in you." Edward gasped as he continued to pump into her rhythmically with his fingers.

Bella responded by reaching down and popping the buttons on his jeans. "I don't have a condom." He managed to say as she shoved his pants and boxers down and then wrapped her hand around his throbbing member.

"I have an IUD."

"God... Fuck," Edward hissed, as Bella pumped his cock in her tiny hand and he realized he would get to fuck her.

Removing his hand from her pants, Edward helped her to remove them, and then gripping her by her ass, he lifted her against the wall. Bella wrapped her legs around his waist securely, and his cock aligned perfectly with her pussy, allowing him to slide into her warm, wet heat. Both of them moaned as he entered her; neither had known how bad they really wanted this, needed this. With each stroke they could feel the tension between them dissipate, and their ardent desire for each other grow. Bella could feel the first of what was to be many orgasms building within her, and she was soon screaming out and arching herself against him.

It was all Edward could do not to come right then, but he managed to stave it off and continued to fuck her against the wall until his arms were weak and he could no longer hold her up. Pulling out, he set her on the floor and told her to get on her hands and knees.

"Where?" Bella asked, not wanting to kneel on the cold cement floor.

"There," Edward said, pointing to the pile of clothes that he'd pulled over earlier.

Bella quickly dropped to her hands and knees on the mess of clothes and Edward knelt behind her, caressing her ass and spreading her cheeks. "I like you so much better like this, Swan." He said, rubbing the head of his cock against her pussy.

"Shut up and fuck me, Masen", she responded back.

"For once, I'm happy to listen to you," he told her before grabbing her hips and slamming back into her.

Edward pounded into her roughly, and Bella loved every moment of it. She desperately wanted to come again, and with one of her hands, reached between her legs, and began rubbing her clit in time with Edward's thrusts quickly bringing herself to another climax. Weak, Bella collapsed onto her forearms as Edward picked up the pace of his thrusts, causing yet another orgasm to build within her. The new angle allowed him to go deeper, and each stroke allowed him to hit that sweet little spot inside of her.

Edward could tell Bella was about to come again when her pussy tightened around him, and this time, he knew he couldn't hold back another second. As she began to spasm around his cock, he growled out her name and came hard, spilling everything he had inside of her before collapsing against her back. Exhausted, Edward rolled to his side and pulled Bella closely against him.

"Mmmm... We should fight like that more often," Bella commented.

Edward chuckled softly, "I don't know about the fighting part, but I wouldn't mind doing that again."

"Indeed," she murmured as she snuggled back against his toned body. She didn't want to think about the implications of this quite yet. She didn't want to think about the things that were changing.

Edward must have felt the same because the arm that was wrapped around her waist danced up the skin of her stomach to her breasts. He began to brush her nipples with the pad of his thumb. "How does now sound?" he asked, pinching one nipple between his thumb and forefinger so that she gasped.

Bella ground her ass against his bare crotch, feeling him begin to harden again. "Yes," she said, her voice breathy, "Now's good."

* * *

**Wedding** **Day: Dun Dun Dun**

* * *

The early morning light of dawn breaking shone through the small basement window upon two naked bodied twined together on top of five blood red silk and satin bridesmaids dresses. Edward's arm tightened instinctively around Bella's small frame when she began to pull away. Even in their sleep they couldn't seem to agree with one another. A small frown appeared on Bella's lips unconsciously, but it disappeared the moment her head buried against his chest and was able to take in the sweet spicy scent that was all Edward. Perhaps it was Bella's body's recognition of the man that lay beneath her, or perhaps it was that they were both very sexually driven people naturally.

No matter the reason, both started to wake up, not from the light that streamed through the window but from their bodies stirring and wanting to continue where they had left off only hours before. Bella's lips placed lazy half asleep kisses upon his chest; Edward's arm moved down the soft curve of her ass to her thighs where his fingers began to dance of their own accord.

They each awakened slowly and at their own paces. Bella's kisses began to increase in pressure in response to Edward's feathery touches. In retaliation, Edward's hands began to move north to touch closer to the warmth where his cock longed to return. Her tongue darted out as her mouth traveled north to begin nipping and sucking on his neck. His hips thrust forward creating the slightest friction against her now very wet nether region.

"Yes," Bella whispered hoarsely.

It was the first word she had spoken since she started to become conscious. Neither had opened their eyes yet, and a small part of each of them still thought they were experiencing a very vivid dream. Edward's hand tightened into a painful grip on Bella's hip. The area would be tender and slightly sore later, but not nearly as sore as his back from the scratches she left on it the night before.

Even without opening his eyes Edward knew what he needed to do to get the pleasure that his body longed to feel. The hand that had been idly tickling Bella's smooth folds suddenly gripped her inner thigh and hoisted her leg over his hip. His eyes flew open the second she bit down on an extremely sensitive spot on his neck. Their bodies seemed to become nothing more than a blur as he rolled her onto her back and sheathed himself inside her in a matter of seconds.

Bella's eyes flew open the moment she felt her body being invaded by Edward's length. Her lips parted to release a scream of pleasure from the penetration, but the sound was silenced by Edward's lips. His tongue thrust into her mouth as they moaned into each other. Being together in such an intimate way was more than intoxicating. It was perfection. Just as they felt the night before, both knew that being together – like their lifelong bickering – was too natural to deny, but neither one wanted to be the first to utter such a statement.

He moaned into her mouth as he enjoyed the onslaught of sweet torments to his senses. She tasted like pure sin, forcing his taste buds to go into overdrive as his mind attempted to pinpoint anything he might have ever tasted before that could even come remotely close to resembling her. Her skin was smoother than the silk they were desecrating with their hot and sweating bodies; it made his hands fight to feel every bit of her at once even though he knew it was an impossible feat.

He pounded into her, lifting her leg at various angles and using different speeds just to listen to each unique whimper as they tumbled from her lips. He wanted to compose a symphony from the sounds she made and listen to it over and over again for as long as he lived. Each little noise would be a note to a song that was written only for him. Music has always been said to sing to the soul, but the composition of their love making sang to every inch of his being.

Bella bit into Edward's shoulder once again as he hit a spot within that no man before had even been able to reach. He was ruining her for all other men, and at that moment, she didn't care. She wanted him to be the only man she fucked for the rest of her life; she would die a happy woman as long as she was able to relive the intense passion he brought out in her over and over again. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she reasoned that part of this passion caused many of the fights they had, but Bella silenced that part by thinking how much more fun it would be to hush the arrogant bastard in the future by simply capturing his lips with her own.

As if on cue his lips parted as he grunted her name. She thrust her own hips up into his cutting off the first coherent word he had been able to speak. She giggled at the ability to render him speechless, and then in retaliation, one of Edward's hands reached up and tangled in her hair. Her small moment of laughter turned into a moan from the mere sensation of his slightly pulling her hair while repeatedly burying himself within her.

Bella's head thrashed back and forth while her hands rotated from feeling his sculpted chest to raking her nails across his back. Her fingers where barely scratching his shoulders when he shoved forward with a bit more force than before. The result was so intense Bella's nails clenched into his skin at the same time that his name came flying from her lips. Edward hissed from the stinging pain and quickly released his hold on her hair to reach back and capture her hand within his own.

He rested their intertwined fingers above them as their bodies continued to move together without pause. The basement was no longer dark as the sun had obviously finished rising and flooded the room with light. The pair locked eyes as they continued to move together as if they had been doing it for years. When the intensity of their captured gazes became too much for either of them to bear, their heads moved together - hers lifting, his descending - as if it was preplanned.

He captured her bottom lip within his own and was able to give it one slight tug before she returned the favor by nicking his top lip and then licking the small cut. They fought for dominance of the kiss; neither wanted to back down, nor did they want the other to retreat. Finally as if a silent agreement had been made they managed to take turns, each leading the kiss for a few seconds before the other would take over.

Bella's thighs tightened around his waist as he brought her dangerously close to her peak. She didn't want to finish before him, and as she had learned the night before, Edward had incredible stamina. With a force Edward did not know Bella possessed, she shoved him sideways and rolled their bodies until she straddled his hips. His eyes widened at the sight of her lovely cream colored breasts bouncing in the sunlight.

His head lifted so that he could latch his mouth around one of the pink taunt nipples as she rode his cock with more force than he would have ever imagined her small body capable. Bella impaled herself on his erection at an angle that caused such a tantalizing feeling that she no longer cared whether he finished; she was close and she could no longer hold back. She threw her head back as she increased her speed. Her lips parted as she hit the proverbially cliff, but the sight was too much for Edward, and he unleashed himself within her.

Trembles ran through her body for what felt like hours - really only minutes - after Bella reached her orgasm. Eventually she fell forward onto his chest as they each attempted to regulate their breathing. Edward's hands unconsciously began to rub circles in her back while Bella's fingers played with the unruly locks of bronze hair that could now truly be deemed "sex hair".

"So..." Edward started but trailed off at the exact moment that Bella began to speak.

"That was..."

Giggles erupted from Bella again as silent chuckles ran through Edward's form. His movements created a small friction that reminded the pair that they were still connected. Bella slowly moved herself off of Edward creating an instant feeling of loss for each of them. She lay on her back, silent. They seemed to be having a standoff to see who would be the first to speak. It was Edward who finally broke.

"Wow," he whispered barely loud enough for Bella to hear.

"Definitely," she replied without daring to look at the man beside her.

"So, that was... unexpected."

"Yeah... unexpected... intense, but unexpected," Bella's voice trailed off.

"Bella?" Edward whispered her name with such hesitancy she was tempted to ask what happened to the cocky arrogant bastard she had known her whole life, but instead, she simply rolled onto her side after some prompting from his arm.

"Yes?" Her reply was just as awkward and nervous sounding as her name had been coming from his lips.

"Does this change... I mean..." She knew what he wanted to say. It was the same thing that had been on her mind since the moment she became fully conscious again.

She only thought for a second longer before replying. The words slipped so naturally from her lips that it was as if she had alwats known that this would happen and that this talk would inevitably follow.

"No... I mean, I don't think this changes anything... you're still an ass after all." Edward chuckled at her statement.

"Yeah, well, you're still a bitch," he replied playfully. "Still..." he continued with only the slightest pause, "that was incredible."

"Yes it was," Bella agreed with a slight moan at the end.

Edward's hand was still on her hip from prodding her to face him earlier. He idly began to draw pointless patterns along her hip as his eyes stared towards the floor so that he could speak without having to see her reactions.

"It'd be a crime to not have a repeat performance."

The words had been spoken and couldn't be taken back. They both thought them, but of course, Edward had been the one to bite the bullet and speak them out loud.

"It really would be," Bella voiced with a slightly husky tone.

Edward's eyes darted upwards and the two could see the lust and something else that neither would say out loud reflected back at each of them. His hand tightened slightly on Bella's hip and their faces began to draw closer together as their conversation continued.

"So we agree then?" Edward whispered with Bella's lips only a hair's breadth away from his own.

"That we'll do this again?" Bella questioned her lips barely skimming Edward's as her eyes drooped slightly.

"God, yes!" Edward grunted out before leaning forward to press his lips to hers. He continued to talk despite their connection, "... many..." kiss, "... many..." kiss, "... many times."

"This doesn't make us friends though," Bella groaned out as Edward's lips moved south to begin attacking her neck.

"Not-friends," Edward agreed as Bella's hands twisted into his hair.

"We can be not-friends and have sex," Bella reasoned.

"And make out," Edward added before reclaiming Bella's lips.

"Yessss," Bella moaned out before tilting her head to attack Edward's neck, the same way that he had done to hers.

"Maybe we could go out sometime," Edward grunted between groans and hisses of pleasure.

"Yeah, not-friends can go out," Bella stated before Edward pulled her body back up his own. It had been only a minute since he last tasted her mouth, but at that moment, a minute seemed like an unacceptably long time to him.

It was clear to both of them that they were about to make good on their promise for a repeat performance and would have if they hadn't been suddenly interrupted by a throat clearing only a few feet away. In their fervor, they hadn't noticed the door opening.

"I always thought there was a spark between you two."

Edward quickly reached for something to cover their naked forms and then allowed his eyes to settle on the intruder. His emotions began to change rapidly as he went from annoyed, to relieved, to grateful, and finally, to confused.

"Carlisle? What the hell are you doing here?" Edward asked. Carlisle smirked before pointing towards the white collar around his neck.

"I'm performing the Hale/McCarty wedding today. I was just going to grab a bottle of wine for Rosalie before heading out for the hall. What are you two doing here?"

Edward gaped at Carlisle, and Bella face-palmed. Carlisle had been their way in the whole time. If Edward had just asked around, this whole mess could have been solved a week ago.

"Wait. You're not officiating for Alice and Jasper?" Bella asked confused.

"No, Reverend Weber is. Rosalie booked me months ago before Alice and Jasper even announced their engagement." Carlisle answered. "Now are you going to tell me what you're doing in the basement...uh, naked?"

The next hour was spent first with Edward and Bella redressing followed by the two of them being lead upstairs to explain the dress mistake to a very grateful Rosalie.

"I can't believe they got swapped! I'm so glad I didn't see it before tonight, I would have been mortified. With everything that's happened this week, it feels as if fate was against us getting married," Rosalie explained.

Edward and Bella each bit their lips while she asked for a maid to retrieve her dress. It didn't take long before Edward and Bella were out the door and heading towards the gate with Alice's bag in hand. Bella stumbled slightly as Edward tried to force her to move at a faster pace than she could walk up the uneven driveway.

"Slow down, Edward. They aren't going to sic the dogs on us."

"Actually, Bella, they might. Have you forgotten what we did to her bridesmaids' dresses? We need to get as far away from here as possible before she sees them." As if on cue, an ear splitting scream echoed from the house behind them.

Edward and Bella grasped hands as the broke out into a full run. Neither dared to look behind them until they reached the place where they had left the Volvo the night before. They barely had time to stop off and get showered at Edward's place before heading to the church. The two didn't evem bother to act embarrassed as they stepped into the shower to save water and time. They might have even made it to the church with time to spare if Edward hadn't decided to drop to his knees and explore the whole new side of their complicated relationship.

Though neither of them seemed to want to fess up to what was happening, it was clear to both of them that the passion they held for one another could be expressed in more ways than constantly bickering. They made it to the church only two minutes late, and so Bella rewarded them both by shoving Edward against the church door for a congratulatory kiss. Knowing that her bridesmaid dress was waiting at the church for her arrival, Bella was not concerned about being five minutes behind schedule when she walked into the Bridal Suite with the garment bag in hand. Bella was grinning from ear to ear as she saw Alice with her hair and makeup team.

"I got it!" she declared loud and proud.

Alice only slightly frowned as she glanced towards her watch then Bella.

"What did you get?" Alice asked confusion lacing her tone before adding in a slightly accusatory voice, "and why are you late?"

"The dress Alice, I got your dress!" Bella beamed, but Alice didn't return her smile.

"Bella? Didn't Jasper call you?"

Edward waited next to Jasper as the music started. The smile that he had been wearing all morning dropped when he saw Bella make her way down the aisle with a frustrated and slightly angry look on her face. No one else would notice it since she had plastered on a fake smile, but having grown up with her, Edward spotted it the instant she came into view.

He pulled her towards Jasper's side with all the groomsmen to ask what was wrong as soon as she was within reach. Luckily, the entire church was too focused on the flower girl making her way down the aisle to see that they had broken formation.

"See that girl in the front with the blond hair?" Bella said while pointing towards a woman Edward had never seen before.

He nodded slightly then waited for Bella to continue.

"She's some hot new designer, just moved into down. Apparently Alice met her the morning after the Bachelorette party," Bella explained.

Edward's eyebrows furrowed in confusion since this still didn't explain Bella's sudden mood swing from that morning. Bella took a deep breath before glaring towards the entrance doors just as the traditional "Here Comes the Bride" song began to play. His grip tightened on Bella's waist and his own eyes widened in realization.

There, making her entrance into the church, was Alice. She was wearing a beautiful white wedding dress. A wedding dress that the hot new designer had created while he and Bella and been risking jail time to retrieve the old one. One thought went through each of their minds simultaneously, and it had absolutely nothing to do with how lovely the bride looked.

_**~The End~** _


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